deepundergroundpoetry.com
Darkness Falls
Darkness falls and I feel safe
Staring at the stars
The cosmos so full of grace
The day grates on my nerves
The sun too bright
I shy from the light
Night is my favorite time
All is quiet and my time is mine
To do as I please
Under the cover of darkness
No one sees the shadows that cross my soul
The under current of madness
That makes up my being
I let loose with abandon naked and free
Do things at my leisure
No one bothering me
Darkness like a warm blanket
Covers me shields me from the day
From the things I choose not to see
I can covort and caress
My soul completely at rest
Darkness falls
The moon casting her reflection
A mother to me
She kisses my skin
Soothes my mind
A child of the night
Since I was three years old
Reading and writing
Watching racy t.v.
Darkness envigorates
Gives my soul leave
I praise the moon and stars
Family to me
A galaxy so infinite
My mind meditates
I climb the constellations
Into open space
Untethered from the Earth
Staring at the stars
The cosmos so full of grace
The day grates on my nerves
The sun too bright
I shy from the light
Night is my favorite time
All is quiet and my time is mine
To do as I please
Under the cover of darkness
No one sees the shadows that cross my soul
The under current of madness
That makes up my being
I let loose with abandon naked and free
Do things at my leisure
No one bothering me
Darkness like a warm blanket
Covers me shields me from the day
From the things I choose not to see
I can covort and caress
My soul completely at rest
Darkness falls
The moon casting her reflection
A mother to me
She kisses my skin
Soothes my mind
A child of the night
Since I was three years old
Reading and writing
Watching racy t.v.
Darkness envigorates
Gives my soul leave
I praise the moon and stars
Family to me
A galaxy so infinite
My mind meditates
I climb the constellations
Into open space
Untethered from the Earth
Published 30th Mar 2011
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Anonymous
- Edited 30th Mar 2011 00:59am
30th Mar 2011 00:57am
I don't like the final stanza. It's a bit of an anti-climax. The one before it would be a perfect ending. As for my other quibbles, the rhyme in the first verse is rather contrived, and I think you meant "cavort", not "convort", in the seventh one.
Now my gripes are out of the way, I can start praising this wonderful piece, which is dark and sincere and strangely uplifting. The penultimate verse I mentioned is fucking gorgeous. "Climbing the constellations". Beautiful. I often feel more comfortable at night, so I could relate to this in that sense. It's a mystical, magical piece you have here my friend.
Now my gripes are out of the way, I can start praising this wonderful piece, which is dark and sincere and strangely uplifting. The penultimate verse I mentioned is fucking gorgeous. "Climbing the constellations". Beautiful. I often feel more comfortable at night, so I could relate to this in that sense. It's a mystical, magical piece you have here my friend.
30th Mar 2011 1:10am
Thank you Jack for the beautiful comments and the heads up on my typo I did mean covort..and your right about the final stanza so I deleted it..sometimes it's hard for me to know when a poem is done..Thank you for the help..Hope you are having a lovely evening..peace Crim :)
30th Mar 2011 2:21am
the serene lunar splendor is beautifully portrayed and the sense of intimacy is very tangible
your verse lulled me to find my own peace
your verse lulled me to find my own peace
30th Mar 2011 3:11am
