IN TIME  IN MIND  IN MADNESS LOST   (4-1-89, 2:00 a.m.; North Park, San Diego, California)

                                                           
and so                
it is                
here                  
little is clear                  
yet little            
is all                
here where                
tears crawl                
and stars                
quietly fall away                
into somewhere                  
into nowhere                
into blackness                
soon enough                  
all fades away                
in time                  
in mind                
in madness                
lost                
everything in                
its own way                  
here and beyond                
where stars                
are tears                
and night                
is day                
between all things                  
all borders fade                
while here                
are we             
laughing  crying                  
living  dying                
all one                
still yet dividing                
resisting  hiding                
in the gray                
from the fact                
all one                
are we                
just trace                
the track                
of tear                
or star                
across cheek                  
or sky                
from eye                
through night              
beyond the dark              
into              
boundless light              
of waking            
opened heart                 
in either case                  
brief  evaporating                
back to where                
we truly are                  
here borderless                
and waiting                
waiting                  
for something                  
for nothing                  
forever elating            
on the simple            
thought                  
of tear                
and star                
of everything                
here  there                
and beyond                
where we can                
only smile                
in realizing            
and knowing            
who                
we really are                    
beneath these                
masks we                
hide behind                
while concentrating                
only on            
the soundless                
beating heart            
of unseen source                  
forever beating                
away in time                  
in mind                  
in madness                
lost                
lost and found                
without a thought                
just as found              
here within                
the space between                
each stumbled                
fallen word                
on page                
remains the mystery                
of the dance                
of even this                
illusory masks                
subtle  hidden                
leaked out dream                
of broken                
thin lined                
ink tracks                
ghosts trekked out                
upon this                
once blank                  
empty page                
released                      
at last                
at least                
released                
as we                
and all things                
soon enough                
shall also be                
in time                  
in mind            
in madness                
lost                
where we                
and all things                
come and gone                
here within                
beyond                
the sacred hoop                
of creations                
divine                
great mysterys            
dreamlike dance               
may come                
to eventually                
see                
and learn                
at some point                
in our                
journeys here                
that with                
each and every                
temporal                
new beginning                
despite                
our collective                
state                
of being              
ever lost              
or not               
in time                
in mind                
in madness s                
swathe              
that we are            
nonetheless             
beyond each moment            
beyond each            
breath            
beyond each lifetimes            
journey here          
however            
well or badly            
lived            
and done            
we re still yet            
inevitably left            
to find            
herein            
the final sum            
of its illusory            
so called            
end            
in truth            
that there            
is none            
for behind            
beneath  beyond            
the falseness            
of egos            
ever looming            
frightening mask            
appears            
the simple fact            
that long before          
our race          
is run          
or our journeys          
fully done          
we are somehow          
nonetheless          
at some point          
in the          
long runs sum          
seemingly          
forever seeking          
to find          
where we ourselves          
beyond ourselves          
within the greater          
mystery          
of this all          
fit in          
to all          
of this          
so where    
do we    
each and all    
begin and end    
within      
beyond          
all it s illusory        
false facade s      
persistent dominance      
which far too often    
fails and falls      
right back    
into      
it s old  dead ways    
dead end    
status quo s      
archaic       
paradigm s      
historically failed      
now long gone      
so lame      
ass backwards      
lost cause      
past tense      
though whose stubborn      
lingering ghosts      
still haunt all those      
who both seem      
to fear and loathe them most      
who seem to hate      
and love them most      
who seem to both      
publicly decry them most      
with all their loudest      
most egregious    
vitriolic acid tongues    
likened unto    
the fiercest  fiery swords    
of pre apocalyptic war    
yet ironically  hypocritically    
still seem to need them most    
as well      
which leaves me simply feeling    
so firmly  so futilely stuck    
here within it s own old    
tired  tired    
weary hell    
with no escape      
with no way out at all      
with no excuse      
and no defense      
to fight back with      
to make things just      
whole and right again      
hopefully someday soon      
but here  in the meantime      
it mostly seems      
that we re all still presently      
just as hopelessly stuck      
as we ve historically ever been      
still all so deeply      
so existentially      
screwed here now      
it seems    
in all this toxic    
heavy  useless time    
where will mankind    
where will we    
all next choose to go    
from here  
if and whenever  
we may ever have  
or get another  
second chance  
at all  
in time          
in mind          
in madness          
lost  
again  
or
    not