Killing me Slowly

I sit here starting at a blank white page
Wishing I could write something inspirational
About the wars I have waged
But instead the pages stay blank & so does my mind
I gaze into the distance
And begin to reminisce
I have so much to say – my mind is overflowing with thoughts
About to burst
But I choose to sit here bottle them up –
Hoping one day that bottle will quench my thirst
But for now the only bottle I hold,
Is the one full of Jack
Both of them are killing me slowly, waiting for me to crack
Eating away my insides, murdering my brain
While at the same time I hate them –
They both keep me sane
It’s funny how I ruminate –
Let my thoughts gnaw away
I know eventually they’ll kill me,
Oh how that will be a joyous day.