deepundergroundpoetry.com
Reverse Osmosis
The infamous day that changed everything forever
Onset of the cosmic paradox which decimated our perceived laws of reality
In one swift impetuous twitch of the Earth,
our planet altered the revolution of its spin
The whole gravity of the world instantly reversed
Each being that was within a home was thrown forcefully to the ceiling
Writhing in pinned polarity as the blood soaked brain desperatly fights to adjust
All the people who where outside
Levitated into the heavens in hopeless surrender of empyrean pull
Millions upon millions took to the sky in a vast inverse raining of mankind
If the implications were not so astronomically horrific,
one could almost call the specter beautiful
Published 25th Mar 2011
| Edited 26th Mar 2011
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it reminds of how small and insignificant humankind are when compared to a universe of possibility and infinite unpredictability
this brilliantly sneaks images into your head as you read
the title got my attention immediately
i like a lot!
this brilliantly sneaks images into your head as you read
the title got my attention immediately
i like a lot!
Anonymous
26th Mar 2011 1:25am
<< post removed >>
26th Mar 2011 1:31am
maybe you will be one of the lucky ones who will learn to adjust to the new life on the ceiling :O
26th Mar 2011 1:39am
This poem really made me think..anything in our universe is possible..unsettling idea..Though so well written..peace Crimsin
Anonymous
26th Mar 2011 6:04am
The first line isn't necessary, "it's" in the possessive context doesn't need an apostrophe during that last line, and you really need three dots for that final ellipses (I've always had a thing about those anyway, though a proper ellipses would work here, I think) but aside from those gripes this is brilliant. Some crunchably concise expressions which convey a horrifying landscape of sudden unexplained gravitational loss. I'm not sure if the science really works, as I think gravity is connected to oxygen, thus we'd lose consciousness and die long before nearing the heavens, though I could be wrong and, even if I'm not, some of the lines here are so marvelous they defy conventional logic anyway.
"a vast inverse raining of mankind"
Fucking fantastic. Oh and thanks for teaching me a new word in "empyrean". I'd never heard that before.
Just one more niggle: is the picture needed? I think if we saw only the words this poem would be scarier, working on the Hitchcock notion that less is sometimes more.
"a vast inverse raining of mankind"
Fucking fantastic. Oh and thanks for teaching me a new word in "empyrean". I'd never heard that before.
Just one more niggle: is the picture needed? I think if we saw only the words this poem would be scarier, working on the Hitchcock notion that less is sometimes more.
cool
originaly i had this concept for a movie i wanted to call The Ceiling People lol
The implications would be endless with the oceans draining too and such though I figured I would limit this just about the earth shaking off humans like a dog would water
as always your input is deeply appreciated
originaly i had this concept for a movie i wanted to call The Ceiling People lol
The implications would be endless with the oceans draining too and such though I figured I would limit this just about the earth shaking off humans like a dog would water
as always your input is deeply appreciated
26th Mar 2011 12:07pm
wow, you pulled this off nicely. fantastical and original with a grand bit of imagery and vocabulary. i liked it instantly. thanks for the read. [:
