deepundergroundpoetry.com
In the Empty town of Jordansland
An old weathered,
desolate and deserted city.
It's dark and dreary
and not a ray of sunlight shines down on it
And it hasn't in years.
There are very few people who live in the town
In the empty place of Jordansland.
The people there are suffering from famine
from disease and neverending darkness
and blindness
They barely live at all
It seems humanity is depleting.
They live like farm animals in sheds and barns with dried out hay bails.
And there isn't a single person outside of that little town
that knows anything about it at all.
Is it false the tales the ancients tell?
That the sun will come out one day?
It must be because the sun is hidden behind a thick thick layer of clouds.
But yet the people of Jordansland have hope.
One day something happened.
It warmed,
and the heaters kicked off.
Everyone looked out their broken windows
and there, surely enough
the sun was bright in a blue sky
with not a cloud in the perfect complexion.
If it were possible
The blind would have seen that sun.
They would have smiled at the rays like the others around them.
desolate and deserted city.
It's dark and dreary
and not a ray of sunlight shines down on it
And it hasn't in years.
There are very few people who live in the town
In the empty place of Jordansland.
The people there are suffering from famine
from disease and neverending darkness
and blindness
They barely live at all
It seems humanity is depleting.
They live like farm animals in sheds and barns with dried out hay bails.
And there isn't a single person outside of that little town
that knows anything about it at all.
Is it false the tales the ancients tell?
That the sun will come out one day?
It must be because the sun is hidden behind a thick thick layer of clouds.
But yet the people of Jordansland have hope.
One day something happened.
It warmed,
and the heaters kicked off.
Everyone looked out their broken windows
and there, surely enough
the sun was bright in a blue sky
with not a cloud in the perfect complexion.
If it were possible
The blind would have seen that sun.
They would have smiled at the rays like the others around them.
Published 24th Mar 2011
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Anonymous
- Edited 24th Mar 2011 5:42pm
24th Mar 2011 5:41pm
I'm sorry I've never read any of your poems before. After reading your lovely comment on a piece I'd posted I decided to check out your work, and am stunned by your gift. You have a knack for narrative and storytelling I for one envy. I think you could be a great short story writer, though for now I'm sure you can make do with being a very good poet. The only quibbles I really have are both minor typos: "depleted" doesn't have an "a" and "tails" in the context of its line should be spelt "tales".
I look forward to reading more of your work, AF. I love the last line. Although can't the blind perceive light?
I look forward to reading more of your work, AF. I love the last line. Although can't the blind perceive light?
24th Mar 2011 6:41pm
Thank you. I just kind of type it down and don't check over my work and spelling. Thanks for the critique!
24th Mar 2011 7:49pm
