My heart is my own, still

Ex's are a lesson.
They're bad memories entertwined with good ones as well.
Some as light as a feather, but most crushing like boulders.
Now curiosity  took a hold of me
*Logs onto Facebook*
Let me just go to their profile
Oh wait
I didn't realize I'm blocked
Seriously?
Yet you'll have your friends follow me around so you can text them talking poorly of me
Or when I walk by you can't look me in the eye, but as soon as my back's turned you'll open your ugly mouth
Spineless coward
Disturbed asshole
I hope you rot
I hope the voices in your head haunt your thoughts every waking moment
I hope you get used and hurt
Hurt as much as I had once hurt
Remember boy no one can love someone so ugly on the inside
You're too distorted, to manipulating
I've become stronger
The heartache drove me towards independence
Ignoring the advances of those who attemped to pursue me
Like a butterfly I fluttered away, just out of their grasp
Perhaps now I might want a relationship
Oh but I'll be careful, I refuse to let myself go through that misery a second time
I've been broken for who knows how long, yet I'm stronger than he'll ever be
Maybe I'll take a chance at love once again
But
It's terrifying
"So I'm putting my defenses up, cause I don't wanna fall in love"
I bob my head to the lyrics that my sister said described me so perfectly

"You make me glow, but I cover up won't let it show"
This one guy has lit a fire I thought to be long gone in my center, yet I still don't trust it. What if he hurts me like I was hurt before?

"I don't wanna fall in love. If I ever did that I think I'd have a heart attack"