The Blue Butterfly and the Spider

I think he still loves the girl I used to be
but is that person still even me?
how gullible and innocent I was in my rage
now I feel ten times my human age
Which do I truly love???
someone who died after taking a real look at the stars above
can I ever learn to love the right way?
 when I fall in love every single day?
look at me, please and understand
I have grown so confused in time
and my confusion is the plight that caused this crime
he is only what I have had a chance to know
and our love what has it got to show?
I'm not saying lets break up, lets go slower
for the present me, do you even know her?
do you even see the heart that has been broken and used?
do you know the stories of the loves that used and abused?
do you even want to see that I'm no longer the innocent virgin you once knew
but something more mature in my desires and wants
his kiss and touch has started again to haunt
and you aren't here to defend, to fight for my attention
I feel like a school girl begging for detention
so she won't have to play with that boy outside waiting for her
he is a wolf spider and I am the butterfly with broken blue wings
and you've gone off fighting in a political war
leaving me unable to fly, to soar
now he has caught me and won't let go
Come back my king and save me before it is too late