Pancakes for Dinner...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c4bOVIsgtqQ  
   
Sunrise, sunset  
Another bottle of ink wasted  
Gone, empty, void...  
Every night and day I question my existence  
The existence of human beings all together  
I forge scrolls and scrolls as a slave to the Sun God  
A right hand to the Moon  
I've always believed we would all die only to rot in the ground and never come back  
No reincarnation  
Actually I've never believed in anything...  
You can almost say self-loathing is what I was born to do  
Or maybe no one was born for anything and we just do what we do  
We just have uncanny capabilities...  
I'm always wondering why these pills don't work  
Why they don't take the edge off of my bent, bat-shit-crazy reality
Gazing out of my living room window I watch people, some tired, some angry  
Although most seem to be enjoying such a sunny day..  
This is always followed by a nervous breakdown which is followed by an episode of sheer insanity  
Destroying everything around me  
My knuckles bruised from beating myself up  
My walls torn to pieces  
I wake up the next day, every morning staring through the black holes  
Talking to the man in the wall  
Some say this isn't the right attitude if you pursue success or happiness  
A mind of a pessimist, clear-cut  
I've realized I've gone through life so far apologizing for nothing  
But now I shall do it once more  
Apologizing for bottling up my emotions  
Only to let them out and have you tell me to stop complaining  
Only to be called a pussy  
Commit suicide and not make a difference, only becoming more of a pussy  
People say it's selfish, maybe it is  
But isn't it also selfish to watch a friend in misery  
Telling him or her to hold out in sheer pain while standing in the distance
Nothing will change me from being who I am  
Unless I am beaten to a pulp for choosing the knife over the gun  
They call it the "easy" way out when taking your own life is just as hard as living  
Why don't they try it themselves? Just pull the trigger or slice the wrist, it's so easy...  
Some say envy is not the way to go either  
I'm sorry but I can't help it  
Envying everyone who has achieved their goals  
After having people shove their opinions and beliefs down my throat, showing me how awesome they are  
What I envy the most are people who are able to maintain a stable mind  
Those who are not watched with an irrational, piercing gaze everywhere they go  
Those who are not called freaks  
It's the vicious cycle  
Sunrise all the way to sunset  
The same thing will happen tomorrow  
And I will cry myself to sleep only to dream about nothing once again...