Never Meant To Be

Staring into the mirror, vision blurred, coming undone, faces staring back at me, screaming, always screaming,
Tears falling, shadows in front of me, totally insane, Bottle of pills, self medicating, face changing,
Feeling of solitude, becoming numb, Misusing, still abusing, pacing, thoughts racing,
Hearing voices in my head, telling me what to do, Feeling insane, can’t sleep,
I need help, mentally ill, sickened, empty inside, bleeding, my heads exploding,
Fucked up, looking through sad eyes, always hopeless, just wanting to belong,
Ebbing away, fear subsiding, but not disappearing, the way I choose to be gets darker everyday,
Scared of myself, wanting to be free, Life is impossible, thoughts of suicide……can’t understand,
Can’t erase them, disappointment, I am falling, forever falling, into the hole I’ve dug for myself,
I’m not okay, insecure thoughts, feeling empty; I believe my own lies, hateful, deceptive,
Hiding from a world that’s crushing me, twisting my insides, no trust left, please forgive me,
I am the problem, Blood on the walls, as death calls,
Self cutting, slicing deeper, bleeding, horrible life of abuse, fighting, screaming, beaten,
Am I twisted? Crashing and burning,
No more strength, changing every second, can’t take control,
Cutting deeper, waiting for someone to save me, it’s all fucked up, I’m sick of my life; my pain will never end,
Looking at myself as I waste away, Killing my insides, too many excuses,
All I lived for was to be loved; now I’m coming undone, Feeling worthless, getting more hopeless, more restless,
The lies, my sickness, my weakness, my self hatred, Running away from my past, but dreading the future,
Trying to erase my memories, But I feel I’m wasting my time, in my mind of lies,
Never perfect, disarray, I don’t care, never to be loved,
My pain kills; this is how I feel, Depression, nobody cares, feel blown away, Sick of it all, you’re all oblivious and blind,
Seeing death, my passing, my only cure, this I am sure, mentally sick, trying to stay awake,
I hate myself, am I delirious? I’m not like you; I will never be like you,
I’m taken for granted, unspoken, broken, Life’s becoming unbearable, wanting to die
Nightmares taking over my thoughts,
Never to be free…only I can see…what will become of me,
Then you’ll all see, I was never meant to be.