I listen

I obey, all the voices in my head
I listen, they're screaming "you should be dead!"
I don't question what they tell me
it's always been the way I've lived so long
they're a part of me, I can't refuse them now...

i hold it in until I burst at the seams of this cruel curse
I've been giving in too much to not let them win
I'm used to regret
still I keep it all inside, within my walls I hide,
building my barriers up to the clouds
the butterflies drawn with a pen
kill them off all at once again
can't turn back lest I turn and run
far away, to save you from what Ive become

I have fought, hopelessly against myself
I have lost, again they pour out my veins
I hide what they whisper to me
the lies I fear but haven't lived without
"the pain keeps you sane", is what I'm told

i hold it in until I burst at the seams of this cruel curse
I've been giving in too much to not let them win
I'm used to regret
still I keep it all inside, within my walls I hide,
building my barriers up to the clouds
the butterflies drawn with a pen
kill them off all at once again
can't turn back lest I turn and run
far away, to save you from what Ive become

I listen
i should stay strong but I am weak
I listen
crying out my heart as scarlet tears I bleed
I listen, again, and again, and yet again
I want to shut out the voices
I want to hear love calling out
but they sneak in behind a kind word
when my guard is faltering
and I listen