Oxymoron (by proxy)

I don't need you
I'm the guy who was never alone
but not the one a life is built around
cold-toed confidant is not a phrase
there must be a reason

depending on the season
It was either nuzzle on your neck and Netflix
or beads of sweat between your breasts and starlight
fears creeping into lazy ears
soft like the sound of a summer nights rain

pain falling from hidden clouds
above wide swimming eyes
but your smile
soft like the feel of a summer nights rain
and I have a fear of deep water

even though the lake felt gentle
as it fell through the nights from the sky
it still left me drowning
with the strangest feeling
of eyes changed enough to see lies
I saw your arms through the waters

and before I slept
I tried to think of the way
that I don't need you
but no amount of realisation
could stop me from reaching
so what if I knew I was face down?