deepundergroundpoetry.com
Short Trip
I Entered This World,
Innocent And Pure,
Still Can’t Believe,
What Life Had In Store..
Dark As Night,
Parasites Portraying Friends,
Leeches Slowly Dispossessing Life,
Disguised,
They Hypnotise,
Trick You Into Believing,
There With You Till The End..
The Asteroid Field Is Your Pilgrimage,
You Realise Your Alone,
Dodging,
Swerving,
Weaving,
Just Keep On Believing,
And Hoping,
You Survive The Constant Ambush,
And If You Do,
Your Do It Alone..
Innocent And Pure,
Still Can’t Believe,
What Life Had In Store..
Dark As Night,
Parasites Portraying Friends,
Leeches Slowly Dispossessing Life,
Disguised,
They Hypnotise,
Trick You Into Believing,
There With You Till The End..
The Asteroid Field Is Your Pilgrimage,
You Realise Your Alone,
Dodging,
Swerving,
Weaving,
Just Keep On Believing,
And Hoping,
You Survive The Constant Ambush,
And If You Do,
Your Do It Alone..
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likes 8
reading list entries 0
comments 10
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
re: Woe
12th Mar 2011 8:06am
Was a little worried about this one as I couldnt seem to express everything I wanted to..
Thank you for your comment :o)
.
12th Mar 2011 9:13am
Great poem dude, I found two spelling errors, but I feel you got your point across in a great way. Very unique, very intreguing poem, as most of yours are.
0

re: .
12th Mar 2011 9:31am
Only two, Wahoooo, lol
I'm improving :o)
Thanks loads for your help and support much appreciated :o)
I'm improving :o)
Thanks loads for your help and support much appreciated :o)
.
Anonymous
12th Mar 2011 3:27pm
I really like this :] the rhythm is nice, and I can relate to the last line, as I do everything independently.
The imagery and metaphors are amazing, as well.
"...The Asteroid Field Is Your Pilgrimage,
You Realise Your Alone, ..."
is definitely a keeper.
The imagery and metaphors are amazing, as well.
"...The Asteroid Field Is Your Pilgrimage,
You Realise Your Alone, ..."
is definitely a keeper.

0

re: .
15th Mar 2011 5:46pm
I'm so glad you can relate. I used to think people were there with me but as the last line states.. "I realised I'm alone" :o(
wow
15th Mar 2011 5:41pm
wow the great poem
it was lovely to track your words with lovely innocent imagination
it sprinkled lovely drops of fragrance on my body which entered into deepest of my heart
it was lovely to track your words with lovely innocent imagination
it sprinkled lovely drops of fragrance on my body which entered into deepest of my heart
0

re: wow
15th Mar 2011 5:47pm
You've certainly got an expressive way with words :o)
Thank you again for your help and support :o)
Thank you again for your help and support :o)
asteroid field of life?
18th Mar 2011 10:50am
i think that's what it means (though i feel your stuff quite hard to access sometimes - i want to get it) - we're all just floating through - dodging swerving and weaving.
anyroad, i like that idea.
anyroad, i like that idea.
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re: asteroid field of life?
18th Mar 2011 5:41pm
Hey,
Thanks for your comment..
Although I'm not sure what you mean by "Hard to access sometimes"
I'm pretty new to all this so if you have any pointers that would be great. Thanks again for your help :o)
Thanks for your comment..
Although I'm not sure what you mean by "Hard to access sometimes"
I'm pretty new to all this so if you have any pointers that would be great. Thanks again for your help :o)