deepundergroundpoetry.com
In theory
Atoms, Molecules
crystal encapsulation
we are but a drop
an unforgiving vortex
we are fluid
a nightmare
of certain destruction
a Fragment
amongst millions
a remnant
of an
explosion...
crystal encapsulation
we are but a drop
an unforgiving vortex
we are fluid
a nightmare
of certain destruction
a Fragment
amongst millions
a remnant
of an
explosion...
Published 21st Mar 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 0
comments 8
reads 703
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Mar 2014 6:37am
I love this, once again your imagery and metaphors are incredibly well done.
A wonderful write
Xx
A wonderful write
Xx
21st Mar 2014 7:30am
21st Mar 2014 6:55am
I really liked this, well crafted and clearly thought out. However I think you could afford to be more minimalist in terms of punctuation.
particularly after "a nightmare", the comma throws off the pacing a little bit. It's really nitpicky stuff, but the difference between polish and sheen ;)
Good work :)
particularly after "a nightmare", the comma throws off the pacing a little bit. It's really nitpicky stuff, but the difference between polish and sheen ;)
Good work :)
21st Mar 2014 7:32am
Anonymous
21st Mar 2014 1:48pm
Jakki, you failed to tell BlackReign about misspelling of "theory" in title. No black badge of Grammar Nazi for you. lol.
21st Mar 2014 4:08pm
Thank you for reading Miss Artina...and thank you for saving me further embarrassment.
I've only been writing 10 months...before that not a word....still working out the bugs..lol
I actually swapped my drug habit for poetry...a little late but I guess better than never...thank you again Artina...
I've only been writing 10 months...before that not a word....still working out the bugs..lol
I actually swapped my drug habit for poetry...a little late but I guess better than never...thank you again Artina...
21st Mar 2014 4:43pm
Punctuation dictates the flow and tempo - how the words become an internal monologue
howevr stileyez'd spelling can't be assyuumed as a tiepoe ;)
howevr stileyez'd spelling can't be assyuumed as a tiepoe ;)
22nd Mar 2014 5:58am
