deepundergroundpoetry.com
Woolgatherer
I am a terrible friend and partner because I have no forethought of love. I'm never lonely but selfish. You can't see me. Only through. I am not. I am your eye/hand in water. I leave time for a time. It must be me and someone. Because every word spun from I you mine. I am the physicist I am rocket/skinned machine of the machines/the Taoist and river/the thought of rolling up my sleeves and keeping them down. Idle akratic. Knowing you're ashamed/I should be ashamed because your boss will see the holes in your socks. But I don't care. I will never meet him. We might shake hands and judge each other immediately. He'll never meet me. I am no emotional social profit/maladjusted. Staring on/from something plain/loosely happy. I'll ask what the most. Not what I expected they'll say. Englishmen are so absent/so fucking i-shaped. My body doesn't count the steps in the dark but I know when I reach the door. I'd say that I slept and dreamed but only the waking exists.
Published 18th Mar 2014
| Edited 23rd Mar 2014
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likes 10
reading list entries 2
comments 12
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The author encourages honest critique.
18th Mar 2014 10:31pm
Every time I see 'Woolgatherer' it makes me think of a bird, which makes me end up thinking this is a kind of entry in a bird species dictionary. Even the structure of it is built up like a nest. I hope you do more of these. There's lots of hands and feet in this but not so many whole bodies, it feels like a really tightly packed container of parts, with worm holes hiding in between - because you get the hand in water, then later the rolling up sleeves and in between the time-leaving. It has loads of interesting details like that.
How come there's no full stop after 'I am the physicist'? I think you get the run on effect there without omitting the punctuation, because the voice is so strong. It's got a real idiosyncratic feel to it.
How come there's no full stop after 'I am the physicist'? I think you get the run on effect there without omitting the punctuation, because the voice is so strong. It's got a real idiosyncratic feel to it.
That's funny. I wrote something recently with a hoard of legs and feet in it. That container part is what worries me with this. Does it seem aimless. Does it pertain strictly to its king title. Could all the parts have been laid in any old order. Some. :)
No punctuation there because I want physicist and rocket to be one image, and that's the problem with language, or at least English. I want one swift image requiring two nouns, but then they need two clauses. In German it could be done in three words: one clause, but this is English — this is where the thinking's done.
Cheers for going at it like a Kuala bear in the right tree.
No punctuation there because I want physicist and rocket to be one image, and that's the problem with language, or at least English. I want one swift image requiring two nouns, but then they need two clauses. In German it could be done in three words: one clause, but this is English — this is where the thinking's done.
Cheers for going at it like a Kuala bear in the right tree.
7th Apr 2014 6:55pm
I was reminded of Samuel Beckett's Not I, which has a kind of intense non stop pace from start to finish, he is also very critical of himself through the narration
I enjoy this form by you, you've taken to it well. One line stuck out as a bit too abstract or just plain madness :) " Because every word spun from I you mine "
any how, good stuff, and nice way to introduce the name. reckon you've been talking to Max Clifford
I enjoy this form by you, you've taken to it well. One line stuck out as a bit too abstract or just plain madness :) " Because every word spun from I you mine "
any how, good stuff, and nice way to introduce the name. reckon you've been talking to Max Clifford
9th Apr 2014 5:01pm
I suppose you could've been reminded of worse people, so cheers.
Was just thinking pre-word, or before sitting down and organising a language. The first things people would try to communicate: I you mine. Maybe fuck and give, too. :) Cheers for the compliment and run, man. Even on this i-smothered swamp.
Was just thinking pre-word, or before sitting down and organising a language. The first things people would try to communicate: I you mine. Maybe fuck and give, too. :) Cheers for the compliment and run, man. Even on this i-smothered swamp.
'Woolgatherer' is both abstract and literal. I'd be lying if I said I interpreted your messages fully, so I'll keep my commentary to what I think I know; your use of metaphors compliment the imagery, it reads at a pace. And settles down with my own afterthoughts on the finishing sentence. I like how you progress between ideas so lucidly, very smooth. I noticed the lack of punctuation, it does help unify the images and keep it a little more concise. It works for the particular structure you have, with the system of slashes to add to each detail takes advantage of that. Or so I think.
26th Apr 2014 11:33pm
Everything is abstract and literal. Subjective. I suppose the piece's original intent bit its own arse, as it should, maybe. Thanks for the thoughtful comment, dude.
11th May 2014 2:18pm
3rd Jul 2014 9:47pm
3rd Jul 2014 4:28pm
3rd Jul 2014 9:48pm
4th Jul 2014 4:01pm
"I am the physicist I am rocket/skinned machine of the machines/the Taoist and river/the thought of rolling up my sleeves and keeping them down."
One example
One example
5th Jul 2014 11:12pm
