Transfusion

Pumping exhaust fluids into my lungs
pensive
contemplating the events that led me here
skin on skin, pulse beating in unison
I thought I knew you.
Cold blackened space holds no room for my lively nature
shrinking in your silence.
Rounded up like cattle, branded by your type of rejection
unsure if the ecstasy 'we' felt you felt.
My words pound at your closed door
pleading,let me in.
My mind saw you as the prize I deserve
but you saw me as a task, a riddle never a rhyme
no bond to form, no thirst to quench, no us to be created
just you.
The individual stood true to its autonomy
pride no longer an illusion but fact.
This weight will never be released with a fight.
So I must fight.
Passion escaped me and logic seeps in
the quest for warmth became the understanding of differences
I will always be I
Us is not yet a part of the vocabulary of the intellectual who drowns themselves with the attainment of knowledge.
If ever I could be angry I would
But I cant
Acceptance is now my refuge.
I must bleed these words from me.
I remember
I remember...
You did not come, could not come
and I must stay right where I am
leaving alone the drugs that drain me
setting new fires within myself.
I must bleed these words
recognizes that in the end
it was not me but you who did not come.