At the end of the day....

Looking at my phone, and hearing the noise as it flashes ‘battery low’, hoping it has the energy to carry ‘I love you’ over the airwaves. Watching the time, my heart beat counting down, a dream world of shutdown, log out, goodbyes, not hearing, not listening, not caring, just one thing on my mind, to be out there.

A breath and I’m calling you and in a moment, it kills your voice, my words, battery depleted, last chance gone, a sigh from my lips and the words I love you carried on into the silence, and for a moment, I’m alone with my thoughts, the phone lifeless in my hand.

One, two, three steps I’m out there, the breeze blowing my hair while you in turn are blowing my mind. Into loneliness I walk, taking you with me, holding your hand, silent and wanting, together.

So I’m home, meaningless words picking at my ears, cutting my thoughts, dragging at me, at my mind, begging for interest and I wish for the deafness, the silence, I want the battery to die, I wait and it came.

Within it I found you, lost them and found you again. Lying alone, reading my book, disinterest hovering in my air space like a cloud of swarming bees ready to sting. They left me, went about their business, they left me here alone with you, so many things sitting on the edge of my reason and your voice echoing through my mind.

I listened, my breath even and deep and felt your breath against it, your heart steady and paced with mine, the rise of the ache, the thought of morning, the passion in which you say my name, as your words mingle with mine, inhaling on my exhalations.

You found me, breathless as I found you too, stirring and tender, gentle and warm; you found that raw pulsing place that calls your name. So tender and needful and you touch me. Touching but not touching, a breath upon my soul, a sigh upon my heart and with the fire dancing deep within my veins, you burn through my existence.

You permeate me, invade me, seep into me, licking at my soul, biting deep into my understanding and tearing apart my reason, you hold me there on the cusp of my longing, in half breaths, you hold me there, aching and hoping, wanting and needing as the thunder rolls in on my thoughts and the storm in the distant gathers such velocity, your life, your love, your entirety slashing the darkness of my mind, lighting its depths and its corners.

I call your name so softly, so softly you strain for it to form in your ears, and its there, calling you, needing you, lost and searching just for you, and then I crash, spinning, swirling, falling into you, into me, tears swelling in my heart, in my mind, falling, for you, for me, for us.

Yet, in a heartbeat so calm, so silent and calm, the clock ticking on the wall, the mind numbing silence beyond it and the reality that steals away the moment. Yet I hold you there, always in my mind, always in my passion and forever in my heart….