deepundergroundpoetry.com
Evil Eyes
Like the darkness that has set upon me
I look through its eyes with loathing
For what has become of me you will not see
Eventualy you will be the wiser
I look through its eyes with loathing
For what has become of me you will not see
Eventualy you will be the wiser
Published 2nd Mar 2011
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likes 5
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 2579
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
2nd Mar 2011 1:59am
2nd Mar 2011 2:05am
2nd Mar 2011 8:11pm
2nd Mar 2011 9:08pm
2nd Mar 2011 8:23pm
...darkish and too short.
Nothing to really get your teeth into or get too excited about.
Do you have another stanza?
I feel a bit cheated with 4 lines that verge more into grey than the dark.
Hooded
Nothing to really get your teeth into or get too excited about.
Do you have another stanza?
I feel a bit cheated with 4 lines that verge more into grey than the dark.
Hooded
2nd Mar 2011 9:07pm
I'm sorry you feel cheated
It is actually a work in progress...
The words come from some part of my mind that
i frequently visit, but not enjoy to much.
So ill be working on another stanza
Just thought i should put it out there, not for anyone really but for myself.
I know you're going to ask me why put it on this forum, well just to get some criticism like yours.
So thanks,
Ron...
It is actually a work in progress...
The words come from some part of my mind that
i frequently visit, but not enjoy to much.
So ill be working on another stanza
Just thought i should put it out there, not for anyone really but for myself.
I know you're going to ask me why put it on this forum, well just to get some criticism like yours.
So thanks,
Ron...
3rd Mar 2011 3:27pm
Ron,
I look forward to this work in progress...it does need more, but you know that already. As completed piece, I did feel cheated, now I know there is more to come...I'll let you off!
LOL!
Hooded
I look forward to this work in progress...it does need more, but you know that already. As completed piece, I did feel cheated, now I know there is more to come...I'll let you off!
LOL!
Hooded
29th Mar 2013 3:27pm
