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The Life of a Five

At first glimpse-- This is not me.
This Life Path of a Five.
No how! No way!
This isn't me at all.
I am not the motivator.
I can barely talk to the cashier at the grocery store.
Let alone deliver motivation to thousands upon thousands of people.
No, no this is all wrong-- This life a Five is not for me.
I put in my birthday, over and over again.
11/26/1993 �
I do the math myself, I let the site do it for me.
But all that comes up is the same result.
Life of a Five.
Life of a Five.
Curse this numerology-- Messing with my mind!
And then after building me up & telling me I am "the Motivator".
It shoots me down by putting me back in my place.
Lack of discipline and order, is that a dig at me for ditching high school?
Impulsive? I am not impulsive-- No way, I do not do things without thinking about them.
No way, not me at all.
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"Freedom and your need for adventure are sometimes not properly controlled. . ."
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I sit in my room and I write stories, poetry and read books.
No wait, I listen to music sometimes too-- Hold me down people, I am obviously out of control!
The only "adventures" I go on are the ones I write about, otherwise I kind of live a rather unextraordinary, rather boring and ordinary life.
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But here I am, told that I hold the Life of Five.
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It says I have problems with drugs, even though I am completely against them.
It says that overindulge in food-- Are you calling me fat?
It says that I overindulge in sex-- Well um. . . You see I. . . *blush* That is none of your concern!
And generally abusing the gift a life? Are you making fun of my suicide attempts, my mental disorders? What in the world is that suppose to mean?
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Stupid Life of a Five.
Telling me how I live my life.
Well it's wrong, just saying-- it's completely and utterly wrong.
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Here it goes, building me up again. . .
This reading is very bipolar.
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Now I am sensual-- Well thank you.
And I "enjoy the taste of life", well I suppose I don't mind doing interesting and fun things-- It helps me write some experiences a little better.
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And then it shoots me down again.
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"You find it difficult to commit to one relationship. . ."
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Really?
Just really?
This is what this reading thinks of me!
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So what if I fell in love with a guy I never met.
Or a guy through a website.
Or a guy through a texting service.
And then I fell in love with a girl, who broke me down until I cheated on her.
It's called being a hopeless romantic, thank you very much!
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". . .but once committed you can be as faithful as an old dog."
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Oh, that would be me right now with my-- Shut up!
Nevermind. . . I still am not the life of a Five.
No matter what you say, this is no the Life Path for me, no how, no way.
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Now the "sky is the limit".
With my "diverse abilities", obviously I will soar high above mountains and plains--
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If only I had some discipline and focus in my life.
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Is this a reading or a life lecture at this point?
Seriously what did I do to you?
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"Without these many of the tasks you begin will remain unfinished. . ."
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So what if I have like fifty storylines and only nine books finished?
So what if I'm not published yet?
So what, so what, so what?!
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"With hard work and perseverance the sky is the limit."
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Yeah, yeah tell me another one.
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"You may have been perceived as a wild child. . ."
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Define "wild child" and then we'll talk about that one.
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". . .and a source of concern by your family."
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Okay so my family is concerned for me but it's for a different reason.
They already are aware that I am crazy and they have learned to accept it.
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Moving on. . .
I am a late bloomer-- Good one, tell my chest that.
And I need to experience life before I know and commit to my "true heart's" desire.
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I know what I want out of life, thank you very much!
I want to be a writer.
Fiction novelist.
My name on a jacket cover.
New York Times Bestselling author.
That's what I want.
My characters voices to be heard.
Their stories to be told.
I want to be a writer.
The is my true heart's desire
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Don't tell me that I don't want it, because I do-- More then you will ever, ever know.
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You say I desire freedom, well I do-- Which is why I do not fit this life completely.
This was the life I was given not the life I chose.
The life I chose, is simple and complicated all at the same time, I want things but I am afraid to take that leap off the ledge.
Why don't you tell me those things?
Why?
You say I am destined to live the Life of a Five.
But why are you not showing me who I truely am?
Is this the me I would've been if I didn't have my mental disorders, the past that haunts me and my horrible, horrible life?
What about the many hearts I broke, which in turn broke mine as well.
What about the child I had when I was only nineteen years old?
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Is this the life of a Five?
Is this the freedom you say that I desire?
That I destined to have.
I do have freedom, freedom for being told I am something that I am not.
I left school to get away from their social restraints, on my personality, mental disorders--
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On who I wanted to be.
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So yes, I do indeed yearn for freedom.
But you definition of freedom is not the same as it is to me.
Telling me these lies or exaggerations about who I am, who I try to be that is not the freedom I desire.
Sure some things are indeed true but they are not all me.
I'm may be a Five but I did not live this life.
I lived a different life from the one that was written for me in the stars.
Thank you for the life experience, I'll be sure to use it well.
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The life path of a Five.
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Another story I was just destined to tell.
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*Written for "numbers and life" competiton.
*Based off of my numerology reading: �
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http://www.tokenrock.com/numerology/life-path-5.html

Written by Page_Writer

(Mad Girl)

Published 24th Feb 2014 | Edited 26th Feb 2014

All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.

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The author encourages honest critique.

Re: The Life of a Five

Anonymous

24th Feb 2014 8:39pm

<< post removed >>

Page_Writer (Mad Girl)

24th Feb 2014 8:52pm

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it. The reading I got just didn't fit me or my personality so I decided to write a poem about how I felt instead.

- Paige Rider

Read poems by Page_Writer

Re: The Life of a Five

LokiOfLiterati

25th Feb 2014 1:05am

People write numerology and astrology as a way of logging their diatribes, instead of having dialogues and getting to learn about others.

The flip side of the equation is reading your own mind, writing your own personality analysis. If opposition from a stranger's broad declarations stirs up your waters enough that specific details of self-reflection float, then you opened your own door. Awesome write!