My poor hand

I keep getting put in the position
in which I have to lash out
at harder objects than flesh and bone.
A simple knock on the neighbour's door
won't carry through their din
so I take to it with uncaring
adrenaline fuelled angst.
A flat palm on the ceiling
won't silence them
so I have to let them know
that I can put holes
in the ceiling
so they can hear the crack
as well as the thud.

Because of them
I can't tighten my grip,
and just after impact
my hand is swollen two-fold.
What is it these people enjoy?

I don't want to lose myself
on another person,
there's too much bottled up
so I choose their doors
and my ceiling.

When it comes to the stand-off
I have my tongue
and my swollen hands
by my side...
so far 
it has been
all I have needed.