Creative Judgement

"Move me with you words," they said. "Discover your hidden talent from writing syllables into an order that may not mean anything to anyone except you."
"Do this", they said,
"But,
Don't use your own gruesome, nonsymbolic, emotionally disturbed words."
“Use the  happy and cheery ones from the list we provided.”
"Even though its the only way to express yourself, don't you dare make me feel anything."
"Don't make me my cry tears of joy or angst."
"Let me put it to you this way,
I don't give two and a half shits about your emotions."

As students, we are expected to follow and obey.
There is no room for free thought or will.
We are organized into single lines of discipline and mindlessness to the point where if we’re thrown off a building, we won’t squirm.
We are asked our opinion then shunned because we spoke nothing other than words of truth.

"Paint me a picture of the birds song synchronizing with the wind,” they said.
Play me a song on the piano that sounds like the aura of an innocent child."
"But right before you do that..."
"Get your pathetic ass over here.
Sit down.
Shut up
And tell me  why your education and the ability to know more than others is more important than anything you love.
Your passion doesn't matter.
Put a silver noose around the passion you feel and jump off the Brooklyn Bridge."
"Maybe now you'll know what you should care about."

"Tell me all your thoughts on God" they say
But
"Make sure it is no different than Child 1, Child 2, Child 3, or Child 4. I mean we wouldn't want to cause chaos, now would we?
Your ways are different?”
“I'm sorry, I don't recall asking you how free thought has poisoned you to the point where all you want to do is interrupt the rest of your peers so you can control their dull thoughts."

Remember in kindergarten when they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up.
Remember how we would stare with our bright eyes and malleable minds into the abyss of our future.
Some of us would prefer the more extravagant careers. Like an astronaut or president.
While some of wanted a simpler life. Like a nurse or even a policeman.
And remember how the teacher would wear a plastered smile.
Because our teachers knew the truth.
They knew we could have to devote our lives to constant hours of subjects we would never need or use again.
And to be able to reach those careers,
We either had to be a straight up genius
Or live for years with shackles of student loans buried within our ankles.

When you're trying to justify yourself,
Don’t slap me in the face with The Constitution.
Believe me, I know how it goes.
Freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the right to a goddamn attorney.
But what I don’t get is that we are taught these rights over and over and over
But we can never use them
If we’re land of the free, home of the brave
Then why do I feel self conscious expressing who I am?
I'm looked upon by a selective number of people who think they were appointed by God to judge me for the way I act
For the way I feel
For the way I walk
For the way I talk
I'm terrified that one day I'll wake up and realize that I am kept in a shadow of fear without any light or appreciation.
I was just another unsightly piece of paper floating in the wind that everyone sees but nobody bothers to pick up.

"We're just giving helpful criticism," they said
"Wet just want the best for you," they said
Well then why do you look upon me with disgust?
Why do I feel like every time you glance in my direction it takes every fiber in your being not to spit at me.
Not to disown my father's name
Not to dance on my grandfather's grave
Not to call my mother a disgrace for birthing me
Why do I feel like I'm alone?