Shit hey...

So this is what it feels like
to have the wind
knocked out of one's sails,
kind of gutting really...
so quiet and blank
inside my mind,
my heartbeat slowing
trying to regain some sort
of balance, so that
I don't implode.

I just want to sit so still
slowly drinking a wooded red,
letting the news wash over me,
allowing myself to
surrender to the reaction
of results that I cannot
change, but can do something
about.

I'm afraid to let you help me;
when I don't know
how to feel this myself.
Just don't be offended
if I push back,
I'm stronger than this.