deepundergroundpoetry.com
Deceptor
the Deceptor
comes
like a thief in the night
to ravage
the Souls
of the likes of you
unassuming
unaware
you leave yourselves
defenseless
the Deceptor's words consume you
you in turn
consume
consume
consume
not a moment spent
thinking for yourselves
the Deceptor
comes
like a thief in the night
to ravage
the Souls
of the likes of
you
comes
like a thief in the night
to ravage
the Souls
of the likes of you
unassuming
unaware
you leave yourselves
defenseless
the Deceptor's words consume you
you in turn
consume
consume
consume
not a moment spent
thinking for yourselves
the Deceptor
comes
like a thief in the night
to ravage
the Souls
of the likes of
you
Published 22nd Feb 2011
| Edited 30th Mar 2011
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22nd Feb 2011 1:24am
I really enjoyed reading this..
The Deceptor's words consume you.
You in turn
Consume
Consume
Consume
Not a moment spent
Thinking for yourselves
The Deceptor
comes
Like a thief in the night
to ravage
the Souls
of the likes of
You.
well done..peace Crimsin
The Deceptor's words consume you.
You in turn
Consume
Consume
Consume
Not a moment spent
Thinking for yourselves
The Deceptor
comes
Like a thief in the night
to ravage
the Souls
of the likes of
You.
well done..peace Crimsin
22nd Feb 2011 4:31am
8th Mar 2011 10:45pm
Anonymous
29th Mar 2011 9:45pm
The rhythm here is almost perfect. You use the short staccato lines and continuous stream of thought format really well. Great poem Daisy.
However, I recommend you take out both of those full stops, and remove all the capitals, as this would make the poem neater. This would make the piece neater.
However, I recommend you take out both of those full stops, and remove all the capitals, as this would make the poem neater. This would make the piece neater.
