The Snake

I cry, I can't take it anymore;
the gossip wraps around my body like a snake
pulling in every direction squeezing me.
My breath flows over my lips like a river in spring.
My life drips from the corner of my eye
falling to the ground beneath my feet as I silently scream for air.
My throat dry, I open my mouth wishing, wanting to say something
but the pressure overwhelms me.
My breath screams for me as it swirls around in the air.
I'm not gonna cry anymore for I realize that the judgment that suffocates me is my own.
People love me and I look at everyone else and judge myself, for I’m not as good as them.
I blame it on others saying its their comments that float in my head
but as much as I know their words hurt, I know I'm stronger than letting them hurt me.
I pick myself up every other week and blame my suffocation on my peers;
though I am the snake.
I create and make my own disaster.
I try so hard not to breath in fear of someone looking at me the way I look at myself.
I am broken now;
for I am the one who broke me.
I try to pick my bruised, squeezed, breathless, body off the ground;
but well in the struggle I make a joke about the weight of the body and how heavy it is.
It doesn't pain me to say these things for I am my own bully and I’ve learned to ignore myself.
but in this case the bodys weight came from a heavy heart.
One that had sat there and taken every remark and every joke seriously.
When they'd laugh I’d wait a while and once hidden I’d cry.
They’d never know my pain, so no one had to pity me; for I was too strong to let them see.
My tears ran down my face painting it a tint of red; slowly my cheeks would swell.
I'd walk back down the hall, my head hanging like ripped decorations from last nights party.
I try not to look up in fear of someone seeing my weakness .
I'm hideous and the effects of me crying doesn't make it any better;
it makes it worse, I don't want to breath, I just want it to be over.
I want to cry more and more but I can't .
They ask me what's wrong and they know i'm lying, I’m fine.
I just can't take, it I want to disappear.
though vanishing isn't something people can do these days.
I can't breath.
I won't breath.
I'm suffocating myself.
You're fat and ugly you're, you're not as pretty as her, why don't you just stop trying no one wants you, you're literally disgusting when you walk down the hall you make me want to gag, you'll never be worth it, no one will ever care about someone as ugly as you. Just Shut Up you fat little bitch no one cares about you and no one ever will.
It doesn't hurt when I say it, though I say it so much I start to believe it.
I get tired I cry myself to sleep knowing in not as good as her.

I cry, I can't take it anymore;

the gossip wraps around my body like a snake,

pulling in every direction squeezing me.

My breath flows over my lips like a river in spring.

My life drips from the corner of my eye
falling to the ground beneath my feet as I silently scream for air.
My throat dry, I open my mouth wishing, wanting to say something
but the pressure overwhelms me.
My breath screams for me as it swirls around in the air.
I'm not gonna cry anymore for I realize that the judgment that suffocates me is my own.
… I'm done
I'm not gonna cry anymore for I realize that the judgment is mine to stop
     … I'm done
           I'm not going to ruin myself anymore

                             I love myself
                                      I'm Reborn;