I'm Dead: Here Without You

I see him in my dreams
My tears as they seep
"Was this what I wanted all those years ago?"
His death for my pleasure
His heart taken to be slain
I will never understand this darkness  
I loved him, him, and only him
Now, "He is gone"
"I will never see him again"
His face imprinted itself in my mind
His warmth surrounds me at all times
His heart once did beat for me, now there is only mine
 
Now he is gone, gone because of the demon inside
I can't look myself in the eye
I am in there, somewhere, but I hide
My disgrace and betrayal to all, especially to he
I wish to go back and change the past
To kill myself, a sacrifice to save his life
I cannot, unfortunately, it would not work
But if I could, I would, I hope he knows
I wish I told him, warned him of that day
Of that tragedy to be
It was a vision of thought, to actually never be
In the end, my once vision became a reality
 
My nightmare, my love, he died,
But that day so did I...