A Christmas Tale

I know it sounds wrong,
But it burns when I hear a christmas laugh.
Because these rainbow lights
Are just a reminder of things I'll never have.

Family heart's cold as this snow,
I envy holidays I'll never know.
Waist deep in memories,
Of fighting under Christmas trees.

Presents between me and mom,
Precense of my father gone.
A familly photo missing him,
Good. He'd be a waste of film.

Christmas carols sting my ears,
Fuck you and your Christmas cheer.
Santa Claus is coming near?
I'll slaughter all his damn reindeer.

I'll be "home for the holiday",
I guess you could say.
But where else would I be?
Nobody else would want to see me.

[written in december]