Relapse

5.  Relapse DONE

My heart is beating so fast, I'm starting to sweat
I don't know if I will regret
Can't remember what kind of cig I took
Didn't bother to look
But it's making me feel good
I Don't care who sees
I only gotten 9 months clean
But that crap doesn't matter anymore
Cause I gotta keep trying
Till I stop for good
Thanks to the cigs I am now someone I hate
I used to have a life and it was somewhat great
Now all I do is cheat, steal, & lie
And then lie in bed praying to die
I said I wouldn't do it
But guess again ,I did
Stuck it my mouth And lit it
All I can think about is my future
On how I'm going to be a loser
Maybe sort  of a street poser
This shit is the wackiness
Y'all haters don't know what have been through
Cravings , depression, aniexty
Now I am back to who I was
Smoking and not giving a crap
I hate that deer
He probably had a couple of beers
It could of ended my life then
Sometimes I wish It would have
I could of been in heaven and met the 3 wise men
I don't know what else to rhyme with "ThEn"
So I'll just hey  " hey Cheyenne"
I'm going back to my old sh%t
But I'm no mr Schmidt
And I hope your cool with it
Cause I'm gonna be spitting
Well I did relapse
And my heart just collapse
I'll never be able to forgive myself
But I can say hello to my old self
And go grab my pen off the top shelf
You smell will always be in my head
I think about you every time before I go to bed
I know I'm not know 2 chains
But I have 2 brains
I am at the lowest peak of my life
You can say my life is like wildlife
I know I was being stupid
But you can say I'm human
And my life is crooked
Plus my heart is wounded