Vampire's Life

I walk on the ceiling
And never the floor
I want to suck your blood
Whatever that's code for  
     
I'm allergic to the sun
I hate to see a spark
I only come out at night
But am afraid of the dark

Try to kill me
I'll stake you right back
I'll stake you so hard
In your mouth and buttcrack

I've been alive 1000 years
I'll stay 1000 more
I've dated 1000 girls
But every one was a whore

I screwed them in my bed
And they all died there coughin'
Lucky for them
I sleep in a coffin