untitled reworking 1

It's been 20 hours since I last had a smoke
It's all i manage to keep that dragon out my throat.

Mary jane has made me lame
started off on another plane
a way to get past this pain
but I'm not the same and now i fear
it's empty space between my ears
like my brain has come to tears.  

Spent $6 on food this week
but if you check under my seat
you'll find everything from green to mescaline
It's obscene
I don't mind though
Drugs and hugs make me feel fine
anyone who says different is probably lying
or speaking without having tried it
without knowing someone to provide it
it's this magic carpet that makes me start shit
life's not the same after the first hit
fucking ask yourself if it's worth it

Stranger danger
that's the mirror you queer
standing there for hours, afraid to blink in case you disappear
as you realize the life you prized
slips further and farther out of sight
it's the start of a fright that will visit you every night
for years to come
then one day you're no longer young
look what you've become
if you could go back before this all had begun
would you really wrap your lips around a loaded gun?

or would you learn to have fun
like the other children
naivety instead of criminal ingenuity
a playful youth instead of an intoxicated zombie
treasure family instead of finding places they can't see
no, you know cruelty and you've met deceit
an abomination on two feet
so it's that nirvana that you seek

but my escape hatch came with a catch
once I got through somebody turned the latch
It gave me a panic attack and I still can't get back
watch my life pass before my eyes
like it's my job to drink and see time fly by
what a waste
I am such a disgrace