deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Gardener - Quadrology of Senryu
You’re a gardener
Planted love into my heart
Failed to water it
You’re a skilled teacher
Taught my soul to trust and dare
Failed to be honest
You are a healer
Vowed to cure my hurting heart
Failed to make it whole
You’re a sham package
Unwrapped you lost your glamour
Failed to deliver
Planted love into my heart
Failed to water it
You’re a skilled teacher
Taught my soul to trust and dare
Failed to be honest
You are a healer
Vowed to cure my hurting heart
Failed to make it whole
You’re a sham package
Unwrapped you lost your glamour
Failed to deliver
Published 26th Dec 2013
| Edited 8th Jan 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 13
reading list entries 1
comments 27
reads 867
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
26th Dec 2013 10:45pm
Can feel the pain and disappointment. Stay strong my friend :), wonderfully written
26th Dec 2013 10:50pm
At least the sham packages
delight us as long as we
abstain from opening them :-).
Thank you for feeling me.
delight us as long as we
abstain from opening them :-).
Thank you for feeling me.
26th Dec 2013 10:55pm
26th Dec 2013 11:38pm
Yes Miss Chi,to me it looks like you have grown, and also learned something valuable,that will if not already has made you whole,and you will...deliver.
27th Dec 2013 12:40pm
Thank you, Hashman, for your trust in me and my 'healing'. It's good to know about other people's flaws since it's easier to brace yourself against disappointment. But we should NEVER forget that we ourselves might be sham packages for others as well.
27th Dec 2013 2:27am
"You’re a sham package
Unwrapped you lost your glamour
Failed to deliver"
Oh, how many times this has been lived my dear. I think often of your world and words. It is why I come back.
Thank you Ms Chi. Once again. xo
Unwrapped you lost your glamour
Failed to deliver"
Oh, how many times this has been lived my dear. I think often of your world and words. It is why I come back.
Thank you Ms Chi. Once again. xo
27th Dec 2013 12:42pm
Always thankful and delighted to see you around, dear Twitch. I'm glad to apparently have touched you somehow with my poems as well as you are touching me deeply with yours. Thank you!
27th Dec 2013 6:18pm
Like a Russian doll, some
people just get smaller the
more you delve into them...
great pieces, each of them..:)
people just get smaller the
more you delve into them...
great pieces, each of them..:)
28th Dec 2013 7:19pm
Wow, that's an awesome comparison and so appropriate! Although the last Russian doll's just tiny but no at all ugly or disappointing if you like it small :-). But yes, I got the underlying idea and it's exactly that. Thank you so much, Paul.
Anonymous
27th Dec 2013 7:02pm
Miss Chi my dear friend, I loathe this sham that has been served to you :(
but...I love the way each work flows! You're genius with these forms is abundantly apparent. Excellent!! :)
~Tom
but...I love the way each work flows! You're genius with these forms is abundantly apparent. Excellent!! :)
~Tom
28th Dec 2013 7:24pm
My dear Tom! Thank you so much for your supportive and lovely comment! I'm thrilled you like my little "babies" :-)and apparently feel them.
Anonymous
27th Dec 2013 8:27pm
Despair, slight glints of hope, like grains of sand slipping through ones fingers....
28th Dec 2013 7:25pm
Exactly, Liz, you always know what I want to express. Thank you so much for reading and liking my poems!
27th Dec 2013 10:43pm
Great use of metaphors within a senryu format to tell an all too common but heartfelt tale in a deft way ..
... Bravo!
LSP
... Bravo!
LSP
28th Dec 2013 7:28pm
As I myself marvel at your skilled and fantastic poems in haiku/senriyu (and other) formats I'm deeply humbled by you kind and welcome words! Thanks a lot, LSP!
28th Dec 2013 12:36pm
28th Dec 2013 7:15pm
Thank you for stopping by and reading me, peninnah! I'm glad you like this poem! I'm curious about yours!
30th Dec 2013 2:11am
I very pleasant write as I can easily link you words to my experiences. Like many poems this makes me thinks of song, at least 3 first three stanzas. The last stanza reminds me of countless number of toys that seem less attractive after you acquire them.
Thank you, Jazz. I appreciate your kind words although I'm not happy that you can relate to my words since it means that you've made your own bad experience.
30th Dec 2013 10:58am
30th Dec 2013 11:23am
31st Dec 2013 10:20pm
Nice piece sweets!!
One thing for sure, you need a new gardener!!lol
Great write!!
Sir Lancelott
One thing for sure, you need a new gardener!!lol
Great write!!
Sir Lancelott
31st Dec 2013 10:25pm
Hahaha! You're so sweet! I certainly need a new gardener who teaches me to cure my sorrowful heart myself! Thank you Lance, your lovely words are much appreciated!
2nd Jan 2014 11:51am
Very beautiful write, Miss Chi! I love this form of poetry and you are really a master in it!
Just sad, but hope you'll find a nice gardener, as Lance said!
Thank you for this text!
Just sad, but hope you'll find a nice gardener, as Lance said!
Thank you for this text!
Thank you so much, malin, that's kind of you to say! I'm humbled by your great comment! I just love haiku and try to do my best to please with their creation :-).
6th Jan 2014 3:03pm
6th Jan 2014 6:17pm
