Feel.

I wanted so badly to feel
Something. Anything apart from this pain..
Maybe   That,  pain
Where you shed a little to live a little?
Nothing like what I feel inside
Because this..
You see, this pain hurts only for awhile
the blood stops spilling, the stinging subsides,
Your body fights it off and you're healed..
But then, there's this pain.
This fucking aching, lingering darkness
This twisted fucking heart that won't just STOP
Stop fucking beating
Stop fucking feeling
Just, stop!..
And there's those images again
Again..
And again.
Driving me so fucking crazy
Making me wish I never gave you me, baby.
Your mind trails off..
Retracing it all in your head.
Those thoughts of you wishing you were dead
Tired of hiding your pain
Just done with pretending,
I am NOT ok
I hate you but I love you.
Don't want you,

but I fucking need you
🌙