Antihero

I'm not strong
I've never carried dead weight
I have enough sense to stand with my back against the wall
Having something to lean against  
Or blend into and disappear  
 
I'm not brave
I've never had to see a last breath
I have a habit of closing my eyes at precisely the right times
Walking out of the bar two hours beforehand  
Or into the door ten minutes too late
 
I'm not persistent
I've never followed through with long term goals
I tend to be an impulsive procrastinator  
Neglecting future consequences  
Or at the very least ignoring them  
 
I'm not forgiving
I've never allowed myself to move past former faults
I have been told enough times to keep my mouth shut
Preventing me from actually speaking my mind
Or providing any real insight on my actual opinions  
 
I'm not selfless
I've never had to explain the motives behind actions
I doubt anyone thinks too far into these processes
Assuming they stem from sentiment
Or some form of decency