pain

I used to think they had hearts but I was dead wrong.Now my loathing of them pulses through my veins all day long.Seeing them live in luxury with fur coats and diamond rings while I struggle to survive.This toxic environment is where my angry side thrives.They appear clean as sparkling glass on the outside but truly within they are dark and cold.It is this that they always hide.It wasnt my choice to be living here.If they died this very night I would not shed one single tear.I would shout and dance and jump for joy at the thought of being able to do simple things that before I could not do.When their hurtful ways were only affecting me alone I could bear more easily to be stuck in this toxic home.But when they started affecting the one I love,I prayed,If god was there he would strike them down with lightning from above.If they only knew how I felt deep down they would tremble if they knew what I felt like unleashing upon them year around.All the emotional damage could never be repaid.When I am finally freed from their tyranny I will not leave one trace behind,not even warmth in the bed that for many years I have laid.I used to have doubts like"mabey they are not so bad"But now I hope they burn in hell for what they did to me.When they are gone I will be glad.I will not enact upon them my full vengance or wrath but rather take one step back from my position of helpful guidance of two souls so hopelessly lost.If icy ground lay ahead or any other hazard comes for them,I will keep my mouth shut tight.For one fall would serve them right.When they would cry out in pain,I feighn an expression of care but inside I am amused.I wont lift my hand in wrath toward them,for the angel of death I am not.But to him they owe unpaid dues.It is clear,when all is said and done,their inescapable fates from which they can no longer hide nor run.A time will come when I look back on growing up with all this pain,how or by what was my sanity sustained.The day when I will be free is the thing I am most hoping for,For the pain and suffering will end as soon as I walk out the door.