deepundergroundpoetry.com
Defrosting Eye's View
It's been decades
Yet, it felt like lifetime...
I can remember how she'd just
walk, walk on by.
So many times luck would
play it's hand, and I'd catch a view...
Truly, heaven sent this...
this angel she was
meant to breathe joy
inside the shell of an empty soul
Other girls played their poker face
poorly...
Their 'scent' it lacked
the essence of 'real...'
Though, with a garden full of flowers
A virgin gardenia, she stood out...
Something so unique
Sadly, over time like rust through corrosion...
the angel's glitter gone
and worst than that...
internally her Sun,
had settled quietly...
into nothingness...
Yet, it felt like lifetime...
I can remember how she'd just
walk, walk on by.
So many times luck would
play it's hand, and I'd catch a view...
Truly, heaven sent this...
this angel she was
meant to breathe joy
inside the shell of an empty soul
Other girls played their poker face
poorly...
Their 'scent' it lacked
the essence of 'real...'
Though, with a garden full of flowers
A virgin gardenia, she stood out...
Something so unique
Sadly, over time like rust through corrosion...
the angel's glitter gone
and worst than that...
internally her Sun,
had settled quietly...
into nothingness...
Written by
Poetikmind
(_---_)
Published 10th Dec 2013
| Edited 11th Dec 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 17
reading list entries 1
comments 32
reads 958
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re: Frosted Eyd
10th Dec 2013 4:18pm
"Though, with a garden full of flowers
A virgin gardenia, she stood out...
Something so unique"<-- aww...those lines 'stood out'.
Such beauty in your tenderness, Poe....Xo
A virgin gardenia, she stood out...
Something so unique"<-- aww...those lines 'stood out'.
Such beauty in your tenderness, Poe....Xo
0
re: Re: Frosted Eyd
10th Dec 2013 5:37pm
Thank you my sweetness, leave it to you
to stop my vulnerability in this lol
Appreciatd you always :)
to stop my vulnerability in this lol
Appreciatd you always :)
Re: Frosted Eyd
10th Dec 2013 4:19pm
love the way you set this one out
making the reader pause for thought
at various stages throughout
well layed out.
making the reader pause for thought
at various stages throughout
well layed out.
0
re: Re: Frosted Eyd
10th Dec 2013 5:38pm
Re: Frosted Eyd
10th Dec 2013 4:28pm
tragic, you appreciated the beauty while the sun illuminated it, and you took notice as the darkness tainted her. I wonder if she ever noticed him, the observer? Nice work ;)
0
re: Re: Frosted Eyd
10th Dec 2013 5:39pm
Re: Frosted Eyd
Anonymous
10th Dec 2013 4:34pm
There's a tear in my eye for you my brother ..:,(
Unfortunately when it goes down that way its a long time til the showers taper off, longer still till Sunshine warms your face.
Love Ya Man!
Unfortunately when it goes down that way its a long time til the showers taper off, longer still till Sunshine warms your face.
Love Ya Man!
0
re: Re: Frosted Eyd
10th Dec 2013 5:41pm
My sensitive n caring bro. I truly appreciate your words, your concern, n your poetic love... Right back at you too bro. :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
10th Dec 2013 10:58pm
this is such a beautifully poignant write Poe I feel the joy of finding such a gardenia and the pain of watching her fade away.. masterful inking :) much love Crim
0
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 3:42am
Thank you my sweet one, deeply grateful
n appreciative of your support lady :)
n appreciative of your support lady :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
10th Dec 2013 11:08pm
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 3:49am
Thanks bro! You touched me with your comment n your support is always appreciated :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 3:15am
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
12th Dec 2013 5:45am
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 4:18am
Beautifully written...such a sweet mix of tenderness and sadness moves the heart :)
0
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 4:20am
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 5:43pm
Other girls played their poker face poorly... Their 'scent' it lacked the essence of 'real...' Now them words their to me outlined this ink to perfection. Splendid job!
0
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 6:28pm
Thank you bro. Yea NOW only I can get better at detecting the fake... Appreciate you so much bro. Peace n love to you n yours :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 6:42pm
Wow Poe, I loved the way this poem
picked up speed, I especially loved this verse
Sadly, over time like rust through corrosion...
the angel's glitter gone
and worst than that...
internally her Sun,
had settled quietly...
I liked this, I liked this a lot!
Zazz
picked up speed, I especially loved this verse
Sadly, over time like rust through corrosion...
the angel's glitter gone
and worst than that...
internally her Sun,
had settled quietly...
I liked this, I liked this a lot!
Zazz
0
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
11th Dec 2013 6:56pm
Aaaawww thank you Zazz! So wonderful your comment
and I'm smiling, truly appreciate you sweetie :)
and I'm smiling, truly appreciate you sweetie :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
12th Dec 2013 2:28am
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
12th Dec 2013 5:05am
Thank you, I'm pleased you liked, n I'm grateful for your time n thoughts :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
12th Dec 2013 8:09am
I love how beautifully written this was. It was like I could feel the pain of watching something so beautiful fade. I most definitely enjoyed reading this :)
0
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
12th Dec 2013 11:12am
Aaaaawwww how very sweet of you! Thank you so much lady, I'm happy you enjoyed n appreciate your thoughts on this ink :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
12th Dec 2013 3:11pm
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
12th Dec 2013 3:56pm
Lol sweet can be cruel huh? lol
I'll take ur word for it lol... Thank u for the comment n smile :)
I'll take ur word for it lol... Thank u for the comment n smile :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
13th Dec 2013 5:20pm
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
13th Dec 2013 6:41pm
Aaaawwww sweet candence, I hear your beautiful sound
N I thank you so much! :)
N I thank you so much! :)
Re: Defrosting Eye's View
17th Dec 2013 8:56pm
That is such a beautiful poem, Poe.
You painted a picture of
the sinking sun
leaving you in darkness.
Sad but so meaningful.
You painted a picture of
the sinking sun
leaving you in darkness.
Sad but so meaningful.
0
re: Re: Defrosting Eye's View
18th Dec 2013 1:54am
Thank you my sweetness...you give me big smiles
N I truly appreciate your support each n everytime :)
N I truly appreciate your support each n everytime :)