The wounded Soldier still fighting the war that is over

I lay this fight at His feet, far too weak.
Surrendering all, gonna lay under His wings.
Rest in protection
I've been fighting a fight
He already won.
Fighting when I should have been,
calling on His name.
Foolishly thinking I could accomplish,
anything in my strength
Woe to me, my prideful fist
Waging a war I couldn't possible win
For the battle is not mine.
Silly me, forever relearning lesson of wisdom already taught
Thinking I've mastered but still being schooled
Fooled myself into thinking I could stand
When I should have been kneeling
Haughty with a bleeding heart
Forever searching for love
In mere human eyes
When He has always been standing there
with His arms open wide to take my burdens
But I clench them tightly
because fighting is all I've ever known
Surviving, when He came to give me life.
I feel like Jacob, wrestling with the Lord
all night long, I will not let go,
neither will He, And I truly Thank Him for this
I am stubborn, hard-headed, But I believe
It's just sometimes I forget. He is patient
He is love, forever learning from my Father above