deepundergroundpoetry.com
You
There are too many things you said you would do.
Too many times in which you never came through.
When I sat there waiting for things to change,
waiting for you get out of the game.
You were a player the number one man,
yet you said you would be beside me holding my hand.
As I went through the trauma of being beaten,
you were off with your hussies again.
So I am writing this poem to as a way,
to get out all the things I was not able to say.
It’s time for me to let go though it feels strange,
I have finally learned that you will never change.
Too many times in which you never came through.
When I sat there waiting for things to change,
waiting for you get out of the game.
You were a player the number one man,
yet you said you would be beside me holding my hand.
As I went through the trauma of being beaten,
you were off with your hussies again.
So I am writing this poem to as a way,
to get out all the things I was not able to say.
It’s time for me to let go though it feels strange,
I have finally learned that you will never change.
Published 1st Feb 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 878
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
I enjoyed this poem, but I feel you left it unfinished - the poem built up to the line:
So I am writing this poem to as a way,
to get out all the things I was not able to say
but the last two lines didn't really have much depth. I feel you need to add a little more detail and expand the end of the poem.
Otherwise a good poem.
This line doesn't quite make sense, I am guessing a typo:
"So I am writing this poem to as a way"
regards,
Hooded
So I am writing this poem to as a way,
to get out all the things I was not able to say
but the last two lines didn't really have much depth. I feel you need to add a little more detail and expand the end of the poem.
Otherwise a good poem.
This line doesn't quite make sense, I am guessing a typo:
"So I am writing this poem to as a way"
regards,
Hooded
2nd Feb 2011 5:54pm
Sorry that line was a typo(my bad).
This poem was written when I was kinda off balance so it is not like my normal depth and all. But once again thank you for your comment. I love people who comment to help me out. I can only become a better writer for it. :)
