Cunning Gets a Job

Apologies dear Rain for the long ink! ;-)

Cunning worked at the whore house it was a job he did adore,
Greeting all the customers as they came through the door,
He’d introduce them to the girls then he’d collect the fee,
Making sure no horny bastards were getting it for free,

All went well for the first few months the whores were full of praise,
They let him have his oats for free, he left them in a daze!
Upon this Cunning Gets a Job
scene of utter bliss a cloud one day appeared,
The vicar standing at the door, ‘twas what the dwarf had feared,

‘I've come to save these sinful girls’ the vicar smugly said,
‘And turn them all from the way of sin so a good life can be led’,
Cunning did not believe him, for he knew this rampant sod,
He’d come to get his end away not turn them back to god,

‘There’s no free shags in this house except for me’ he said,
'You try to get your dick in them you’ll end up fuckin’ dead,'
The parson sniffed, looked down his nose then turned to face the madam,
‘I believe you have a new girl here by the name of Fanny Adam?’

Vic had seen young Fanny one Sunday after mass,
He’d got an instant hard on, thought he’d love to screw the lass.
But he had a care that others didn’t see his lust,
He thought I’ll pay a visit for screwing her’s a must.
But pay for it he never did for he was very tight,
And seeing his position he only thought it right,
That he should get away with it as a man of god,
But he’d reckoned without Cunning the clever little sod.

Fanny was a beauty with long and golden hair,
Big blue eyes, long slender thighs, the sight of her made willies rise,
‘If you don’t mind your Ladyship I’d like to start with her,
Just a quite word or two and then perhaps a prayer’?

And when the madam nodded Cunning led him to her room,
He knocked softly on the door his heart was filled with gloom,
For Fanny was a lusty girl, who’d always, fancied vicars,
She said 'Come in darlin’ shut the door, would you like to sniff my knickers?’

The vicar stood there quite transfixed as he saw her on the bed,
His Adam’s apple popping, eyes bulging from his head,
He forgot he was a vicar then as he felt a rush of blood,
And started ripping off his clothes, his dick as hard as wood.

Cunning through the keyhole spied, his brow knit in a frown,
For he could see the vicar’s arse thrashing up and down,
The dwarf ran for his pool cue, and then returned with speed,
‘I’ll shove this so far up his arse it’ll make his nostrils bleed!’

The screaming priest shot off the bed a clutching at his bum
He landed on the chandelier and sprayed the room with cum,
Cunning jumped up after him and bit the vicar’s nuts
Telling him through clench-ed teeth ‘I hate your fuckin’ guts,'

Then Cunning started swinging in an arc from north to south,
His victim’s pubes were in his fists, his bollocks in his mouth,
The madam heard the commotion and came running up the stairs,
‘If he’s been screwing my girl for free he’d better say his prayers!’

The screams were heard three streets away by a copper on patrol,
He thought ‘Ah that sounds like Cunning’s rammed his cue up someone’s hole,’
I think I’ll wander over there and scrounge a cup of tea,
And see which silly bastard tried to get his oats for free.

Madam dragged the pair down asking ‘What do you mean by this?’
The moment that I’m nice to you, you go and take the piss,
She kicked the vicar in the balls, sent him reeling through the door,
‘I’ll report you to my bishop' wailed Vic, 'and he’ll give you what for!’

‘Report us to your bishop then ’cos that’s all right with me,
Right now he’s shagging your missus in number twenty three’,
The vicar looked quite gutted, his pale face quickly sagged,
He didn't know his missus for cash was being shagged.

What if this gets out? Vic thought, with growing consternation,
How would I explain this scene unto my congregation?
Without another word from him he grabbed his clothes and fled,
The thought of pictures in the press filling him with dread.

He bumped into the copper whilst running through the door,
The copper howled with laughter and rolled upon the floor,
Oh what a funny sight he’d seen, a moment of pure farce,
A naked vicar trying to run with a pool cue up his arse!

And now at last the story’s told, the tale is nearly done,
Cunning once more had known the score and so the fight had won,
The Vicar never came again and that’s what really matters,
For his bollocks were quite ruined and his arsehole left in tatters!