The grounds

in the hospital grounds we sit
on a bench by the river, before dawn
while her boy sleeps
she leans accidentally
softly on me
we don't say much
          everybody whispers here

her little shoulders shake
she tries to explain death
"I feel it coming
it's a wall
there's nothing on the other side"

the birds walk en masse through the trees
and around us to the still-glass river
gliding silent to split mist from reed
rippling the water alive
and we see, as it begins to rain
that it is a new day

I want to punch God in the face
smash leukemia bleeding to the fucking ground
but I sit in silence
pouring my impotent love into the bread I give her
to throw to the birds
          everybody whispers here

we both smoked, then
our fuck you to cancer
before heading back to his room
and the hell that is hope

while outside, month after month
boldly for her boy and pretending nothing
death came walking