Fettered by a Blue Sky

 Return, my love,
Return to me
To assure me I am not insane,
I couldn’t let you die in vain.
I loved you so, so
Where did you go?

I plea to God, I’ve lost my mind,
I pray for a reason not to cry,
For you were doing so very well,
Alas, you spoke your last farewell.

I tried to help, I tried so hard,
I conquered fear to heal your scar
Before it took the best of you,
Before it took the rest of you.
*
Depression is a terrible state.
A quicksand of sadness,
A sinkhole of horror,
A challenge not to end one’s life.
One holds so close and dear their knife,
But perish not, follow the light,
You didn’t need to end your strife.

Now bent double on path to the bitterest end,
I do not want to visit again,
Mire of emotion, don’t imagine,
Your saving grace is tonic and gin.
*
I have come so close to death,
Come so close to my final rest,
That I regret not taking my own
To spare myself of your dying groan.

Return, my love,
Return to me,
To assure me I am not insane,
As the razorblade disturbs my vain.
I loved you so, so
How could you go?

I speak to God: I’ve lost my mind,
My tears no longer suffice my cry.
I was whole, and away from hell,
Alas, you sputtered your last farewell

This makes a great test not to slit my throat,
When this could even be my suicide note,
When this could be a life’s salute,
Before a voice becomes a mute.
With everything we do,
How was I to continue without you?
*
Our lives are lived in simple song,
Bar after bar, to the next we go on,
Simple slaves, singing in octaves,
Trying to be hard, trying to be brave.

Though life in sound is not enough,
Through thick and thin,
Through soft and rough we need,
More than a mere melody.

Some notes, some say, they need to bleed,
Some notes, some say, don’t know what they need.
Some notes, just can’t take the pain,
And with pills and shrinks remain insane.
Until the shadow of death is satisfied,
This pulpit of horrors we reside.
*
So,
When you said to me that final line
When I came to see you bloodied where you lie,
I’ll always remember it as long as I live
My memories dedication to what I must give,
To save a soul, embrace a life,
To heal your heart, and ease your strife.

I can only muster weeping at my loss,
And struggle to imagine a better place,
Though graveyard trees will still grow moss,
In time there will be no physical trace,
That you were here in our embrace,
My only memories hold your place.

Return my love,
Return to me.
Seared into my mind-
Branded to my chest-
Whenever I cry
I will remember that one last line-
I need to go somewhere,
I love you,
Goodbye.


R.I.P.
25/02/06