deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Storm
So can you tell me why,
the world is the way it is?
Why people are so dam fucking mean and self centered,
looking out for no one but themselves.
While other people are screaming for help,
trying to find some one who cares.
Trying to find a life raft
amid their sea of endless pain.
Yet for some reason no one hears their screams,
or cares enough to help the person.
All they need is one person,
just one person to help them through the storm.
Still they remain there alone,
no one coming to help them find a way out.
For no one in this world seems to care any more.
So the lost souls of this world remain lost,
never able to find their way through the storm.
So here is to all the dazed and confused people out there,
just looking for a way out.
the world is the way it is?
Why people are so dam fucking mean and self centered,
looking out for no one but themselves.
While other people are screaming for help,
trying to find some one who cares.
Trying to find a life raft
amid their sea of endless pain.
Yet for some reason no one hears their screams,
or cares enough to help the person.
All they need is one person,
just one person to help them through the storm.
Still they remain there alone,
no one coming to help them find a way out.
For no one in this world seems to care any more.
So the lost souls of this world remain lost,
never able to find their way through the storm.
So here is to all the dazed and confused people out there,
just looking for a way out.
Published 29th Jan 2011
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 0
reading list entries 0
comments 3
reads 776
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
1st Feb 2011 7:06pm
Good poem - very topical and well delivered.
Particularly liked:
Trying to find a life raft
amid their sea of endless pain
gave a great image.
I was confused with the last two lines. What are you offering or suggesting to those 'dazed' and 'confused' people out there?
I felt you could have added more depth to the piece with more description. An example:
"just one person to help them through the storm.
Still they remain there alone"
Just one saviour to guide them through the relentless storm.
Yet still they linger in despair, alone.
That said, I really liked this poem. You set out to describe the lost souls of the world, and you did it well. Just that last couple of lines felt left out on there own without a meaning...unless i have misunderstood...if I have, I apologise.
regards,
Hooded
Particularly liked:
Trying to find a life raft
amid their sea of endless pain
gave a great image.
I was confused with the last two lines. What are you offering or suggesting to those 'dazed' and 'confused' people out there?
I felt you could have added more depth to the piece with more description. An example:
"just one person to help them through the storm.
Still they remain there alone"
Just one saviour to guide them through the relentless storm.
Yet still they linger in despair, alone.
That said, I really liked this poem. You set out to describe the lost souls of the world, and you did it well. Just that last couple of lines felt left out on there own without a meaning...unless i have misunderstood...if I have, I apologise.
regards,
Hooded
2nd Feb 2011 5:50pm
The last two lines is me dedicating the poem to any one out there who feels like they are lost and alone. Thank you for you opinion though and your complements. It is always nice to know that my work is being read, understood, and appreciated.
2nd Feb 2011 5:56pm
