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The way i feel

When I look at you, I�m lost for words
When i look at you, I know I want to be yours
When I look at you, everything I see, i adore
Everything and more
When I look at you, I see perfection
When I look at you, I know I want your affection
When I�m near you, I smile
Because I know that you are worthwhile
When I�m near you I have this urge to talk to you
But I can�t because you wouldn�t want me to
I want to tell you in person that I love you
Because I have never done it before
But I need to show you that my love means more
That when I say it, I will mean it
You make me feel like a fire that has been lit
When you are near me you make my heart beat as fast as lightning
Because you are my prince charming
I am the song and you are my harmony.

Written by Montebella2013

Published 17th Nov 2013

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Re: The way i feel

Anonymous

17th Nov 2013 9:00pm

The last four lines are the best, though "a fire that has been lit" feels like a paradox. How can a fire exist in the first place if nothing's been lit? The song and harmony line is good. As with your last poem I critiqued, my suggestion would be that you add more images. Maybe use less rhymes too, at least until you can back them a bit more rhythmically.