Status: It's Complicated!

i can't speak! Don't know what to tell,
i'm so  numb, there's nothing i could feel,
i am aware that we're not committed,
so i don't have the right to get hurt.
 
i am always telling i don't care,
don't care 'bout your different affairs,
you're very much free to be with others,
have the right to be with someone else.
 
i'm stopping myself to love you,
coz in the long run i know i'll lose you,
you can only offer a lifetime friendship,
a no-string-attached relationship.
 
but it feels so right when we're together,
it seems like we're really meant for each other,
but i just can't go to the next level,
i'm afraid when you leave it'll be like hell.
 
but it also hurts having an affair with you,
we can't go anywhere we wanna go,
we can't do everything we wanna do,
i can't show the world how much i love you.
 
it's wrong and painful being with you,
my guilt and conscience killing me too,
coz everytime we're together as one,
i know we're unconsciously hurting someone.
 
but i don't want to think about the future,
don't want to listen with my ego anymore,
don't even want to ask what's the real score,
all i care is that i'm happy that's for sure.