deepundergroundpoetry.com
loneliness
i'm a refugee and poetry is my camp
i'm alone...the perfect time to be by myself!
there is nobody left...
an antagonist of my former self
drifting in vague thoughts
rising right in the denouement of my life
i'm alone in this play
dark haze is derived from my eyes
i live as i was born...alone
trying to make an illusion in these quatrains...
personal thoughts maybe
or a satire of my deepest fears...
an empty space for me to reside
the climax of a blank verse
and the aroma of a half glass of wine
I will speak to the resonance of my poems
since i'm alone
i'm alone...the perfect time to be by myself!
there is nobody left...
an antagonist of my former self
drifting in vague thoughts
rising right in the denouement of my life
i'm alone in this play
dark haze is derived from my eyes
i live as i was born...alone
trying to make an illusion in these quatrains...
personal thoughts maybe
or a satire of my deepest fears...
an empty space for me to reside
the climax of a blank verse
and the aroma of a half glass of wine
I will speak to the resonance of my poems
since i'm alone
Published 29th Oct 2013
| Edited 30th Oct 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 1
comments 8
reads 831
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
29th Oct 2013 9:11am
this is so poignantly beautiful Cesar.. really touched my heart.. much love Crim
29th Oct 2013 2:43pm
30th Oct 2013 00:52am
30th Oct 2013 1:47am
Anonymous
- Edited 30th Oct 2013 8:27am
30th Oct 2013 8:25am
"trying to make an illusion in this Quatrains... " - should this read "trying to make an illusion in these quatrains" - this would make better sense.
"Denouement" and "Quatrains" really don't need the capital letters. It doesn't add anything to the piece.
That aside, I really like the seething bitter darkness in this piece. You really feel like you are descending into madness a little within these spiralling stanzas. The inevitable descent into the abyss is perfectly captured with the last line "since I'm alone" - I like the clever visual wordplay on alONE.
Enjoyed this read, thank you.
"Denouement" and "Quatrains" really don't need the capital letters. It doesn't add anything to the piece.
That aside, I really like the seething bitter darkness in this piece. You really feel like you are descending into madness a little within these spiralling stanzas. The inevitable descent into the abyss is perfectly captured with the last line "since I'm alone" - I like the clever visual wordplay on alONE.
Enjoyed this read, thank you.
(that's the bad thing about "writing" from a smart phone using voice text) i have to get the idea before is gone...
thanks for the feedback !!
thanks for the feedback !!
Anonymous
5th Nov 2013 2:41am
<< post removed >>
6th Nov 2013 7:23pm
