Trap

I don't understand it,
who can I trust?
just who can trust me?


all these words drawing  me in...


I'm wondering why


try to accept, try to put some faith,
in those people that I really want to care about

why do we always end up..

in a battle throwing out words...
as if they meant nothing.

throwing out a trap.


hold my my shaking hand up to my eyes,
so afraid still..

I'm  wondering so many things,
what am I doing exactly,
right now?

can barely speak,
  a look of concern...
can barely walk

...another glare...

child in a hospital bed
tears flowing
I'm wondering
I'm crying...
I'm crying...

sick and pissing in a cup

over something I will never understand
over something I convinced myself I had...

bunch of bullshit everywhere I look,
I just want some happy fucking times...
I don't  want to moan on and on about
my mistakes.

want to have a thousand smiles
on clean cut yard,

grass with that fresh scent,

I don't understand all of this wonderful everything,


Just want a couple of drinks and stupid jokes,
I dont want to question,

I don't want a trap
I don't want to win.