Present days aren't much better than the old.

Not supposed to smoke in my moms car
but I do it anyways
Not supposed to fuck around with all these drugs
but whats the point these days.
Do what we shouldn't...
we were always told to do better
but we rebelled, we strayed
became settlers.
We thought it was fun at the time...
but we were wrong
now we're here broke with our kids
not havin' a damn bit of that old fun.
We still break the rules..
I still drive into town
still dip in my pocket for money
for a $20 of that brown.
Take it home and cradle it
handle it with care
make sure the paper doesn't rip
it keeps calling to me...
   saying "open if you dare"...
Well, I dare god damnit
shove that powder up my nose
make me sick, make my nose bleed
it's just how it goes.
My eyes get so sleepy
the taste in the back of my throat
disgusting but enjoyable
gag as I drive down the road.
Smoke another cigarette...
no smoking in mom's car.
Not supposed to drive here or there
definitely not THIS far.
Put some gas in it to hide
where I have gone...
She sleeps all day, works all night
so I have my day for some fun.
30 years old, pathetic.
Living with mommy and dad...
I wish I could reminisce about my past
and all the fun I SHOULD have had.
Instead I wrecked my life
but I wouldn't change it for the world..
it led me to where I am today
and I wouldn't have had my little girl.
Now I need to change me
what this life has brought me now...
but I love the feeling, love the chase
I just don't know how.

Sorry for smoking in your car mom.