numb.....

Your insults hurt,
Yet i dont feel them anymore,
The glares shoot through me,
Yet i never notice.

What i wanna feel is pain,
No love,
Pain is my only friend.

I wear a souless mask,
Because im afraid someting ,
Something might make me happy,
I dont want that,
Because then,
Some stupid shit is gonna come,
And fuck my world up.

I come home sit and cry almost everyday,
Then i look under my pillow, my wallet and bag,
Blades everywere,
Because i want pain to acompany me,
Forever.

Ah.... the razor,
Sharp as ever,
It travels down my scarred arm,
Leaving a trail of gosebumps and blood,
There it is .

Wait this feels odd,
I feel a diferent kind of pain,
I feel water run down my cheeks,
Im crying,
But why,
I gasp and remember the night ,
He laughed at me,
At my feelings!

As i think this,
I press the blade harder making a deeper cut,
He thought my feelins were funny?!
How dare he?

My vision is going blurry,
Am i going to die?
I ask myself hopefully,
The razor falls from my hand,
As i drop to the ground.....

Numb.