deepundergroundpoetry.com
Beneath the Starry Skies
As night transitions through the clouds
a particular radiance illuminates the sky
billions of stars begin to gently sparkle
sparkling somewhere beyond infinity
As the moon tucks the sun into bed
and the winds die and are born again
beneath the starry skies eternity yawns
each star stretching its tired arms
a particular radiance illuminates the sky
billions of stars begin to gently sparkle
sparkling somewhere beyond infinity
As the moon tucks the sun into bed
and the winds die and are born again
beneath the starry skies eternity yawns
each star stretching its tired arms
Published 13th Oct 2013
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likes 4
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comments 6
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The author encourages honest critique.
13th Oct 2013 5:07am
13th Oct 2013 11:00am
Anonymous
13th Oct 2013 12:02pm
A gentle and elegant poem with some lovely images. What I'd suggest is that you make it flow a bit smoother, perhaps by adding meter, rhyme and/or grammatical structure, because at the moment it feels a bit like a series of bullet points rather than a poetic narrative. This means that it has lots of nice little moments, but feels slightly incomplete as a whole. JMHO, of course. Thank you for the read.
Anonymous
13th Oct 2013 4:13pm
This was so soothing and calming, i'm ready to go back to bed and close my eyes and feel the words.
Beautiful imagery!
Beautiful imagery!
13th Oct 2013 10:27pm
