deepundergroundpoetry.com
ever, we are strangers
she told me love is a snake in the grass waiting to
destroy you, so I took my mower & cut a path of
naked earth all around the world. if there is no grass,
there are no snakes.
I know of a river in a forest that is a good place to hide.
the sun somehow avoids it, & every day is a night.
she told me my tears dried up long ago, so now when
I’m sad a plethora of dust accumulates & cascades into
madrigal air, like blind Ewoks falling off a cliff.
she’s way over there & I’m here; I can’t get there & she won’t
come here. when I die alone, she’ll still be fixing dinner.
I conceived a love story of a patch weld hero & a convenience
store princess, but it quaked on a foundation of vagaries, so
I wrote it on the wind.
she gave me a satin pillow & told me the kisses she wrote upon
it would sing concertina dreams, but I didn’t dream. she must
have used invisible lipstick.
she is ice. I am fire. If I approach her, she will melt &
wash over me, & briefly the steam will testify:
what fools love has made us.
Published 5th Oct 2013
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 11
reading list entries 1
comments 11
reads 1262
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
5th Oct 2013 3:02am
i've added this to my reading list--i was sold a bit by the fifth stanza, though the rest was really very very good also--really i couldn't have said it better, though i fear that may not be the compliment i want it to be here...
but i think the first stnaza is a bit um, unbeleivable--mowing the whole world and all--and that kind of kills it for me, and the ewoks, well...i have seen every star wars movie--even the last three--but um...i don't think it's quite powerful enough in everyone's mind for the "blind ewok" reference to really work here.
other than that--as i said, it's in my reading list.
but i think the first stnaza is a bit um, unbeleivable--mowing the whole world and all--and that kind of kills it for me, and the ewoks, well...i have seen every star wars movie--even the last three--but um...i don't think it's quite powerful enough in everyone's mind for the "blind ewok" reference to really work here.
other than that--as i said, it's in my reading list.
5th Oct 2013 3:05am
oh, ah...the title, the title seems a little...what?...out of date the way it's written, and i think it could be more in time with the times. really, great poem, but the title seems a little off in today's language context.
5th Oct 2013 3:16am
Experiences are what makes a person... its the oil that makes the gear turn and grind for the heart and soul to chug along... I see myself within this and also wonder why love creates such fools...
Anonymous
5th Oct 2013 3:20am
The line that hit me the most was the one about fixing dinner... time zones bite.
this is wonderful stuff...
this is wonderful stuff...
5th Oct 2013 6:39am
6th Oct 2013 5:14pm
A love story of lovers who will never find and never lose each other ... A bit like a fairy tail and tenderly written.
6th Oct 2013 7:27pm
From the first line you laid it down beautifully, "she told me love is a snake in the grass waiting to
destroy you, so I took my mower & cut a path of
naked earth all around the world. if there is no grass,
there are no snakes." How do I honor a piece like this? I tip my hat and say thanks for the pleasure of this wonderful work of art. Ink on fire!
destroy you, so I took my mower & cut a path of
naked earth all around the world. if there is no grass,
there are no snakes." How do I honor a piece like this? I tip my hat and say thanks for the pleasure of this wonderful work of art. Ink on fire!
6th Oct 2013 9:59pm
I hope this means something to you, but are you familiar with the comedian Steven Wright? Well, this is basically the poetic equivalent to him, and that is a good thing. Very nice, broken up, gets the mind thinking.
6th Oct 2013 10:42pm
thanks, I've seen Steven Wright, he has a very unique delivery. I can appreciate the comparison...
Anonymous
25th Nov 2013 8:29am
This is beautiful... don't know how else to describe it. Guess it feels like some combination of a fairy tale and an old romance movie. Either way, I love it.
26th Dec 2013 5:01am
