today is grey

Believe me, I'm as crazy as I seem
I've forgotten how the colors should filter in from the spaces between the autumn leaves
The sounds that tumble out and around, enveloping my head
All come in muffled, clogging my ears
And I don't know what you've just said
At times I realize I'm smiling without knowing why
It's the forced grin I use when I'm trying to do anything but cry
Not that a tear has enough strength to accumulate and descend
It seems the haze clouding my vision has tainted my skin
My heart
My mind
Coursing across this soul trapped inside of me
It no longer wills itself to break free
Merely content to settle deep into the soles of my feet
Causing my walk to be a shuffling gait
I've forgotten how to lift my limbs as the weight seems to make me
Suffocate