A Fucked Up Day

I woke up this morning
just hating myself.
Wishing I was still
sleeping and going into
a different day.
When ever I see my ex...
that night I have horrible
dreams and wake up
with such a chip on my
shoulder.
I was wide eyed
and started to bawl my
eyes out for no reason
at all.
I had NO fucking reason
to start crying.
Preparing for my daughters
birthday, I started getting
happier knowing what a
great day she's going to have
tomorrow.
Then I talked to you and you
made my day...telling me
you weren't moving after all
and you really cared about me.
You told me a song that reminds
you of me and I smiled so hard
my cheeks hurt.
Then in a second, I pissed you off
about something stupid that I
shouldn't have said.
Now I'm going to bed tonight
with the same attitude as I woke
up this morning to.
There's nothing I can do about it.
You won't respond to my emails...
my tears roll down my face
and I hate myself once again.
I guess I just have that affect over
people. He hates me, so why
shouldn't you?
I may be going a little too far but
it sure as hell feels like I can't
do a fucking thing right.