The Perfect Murder, That Is

 (DISCLAIMER: I would never actually do any of this... Lets just say I'm a bit twisted in the head)

My fantasy of a perfect crime
May hold something to be disdained
I have a far too morbid mind
An imagination to be ordained
By killers, that is

I made a list one bright day
Just to darkened the blue skies
I wrote down all the sadism
The torturous ways to say goodbye
By the victims, that is

Some are probably not original
In fact, most are definitely not
A throwback to medieval times
When corpses were piled to rot
By royalty, that is

Imagine being dragged to a place
An area quite hidden from view
Where all your pathetic screams
And pleas are useless to you
Funny to me, that is

Imagine a huge checkerboard out
But made of rusty razor wire
And being tied to the top of it
Rocks putting the weight you acquire
Cutting you up, that is

Or perhaps a slower method maybe?
I'll need a living plant of bamboo
Tie you to and keep you too watered
Till the bamboo grows over you
Suffocating you, that is

Maybe I could rip your nails out
Dip your fingers deep in a fiery acid
Sandpaper your skin till its raw
Laughing aloud because I'm wicked
Just for fun, that is

Ooh la la, so many cruel methods
Which one should I experiment?
Dare I say to electrocute or crucify?
Oh, your loved ones wail and lament!
Music to my ears, that is

So many ways, so many lives!
For a sadistic serial killer like me!
There could never be a flawless way
I'll kill you if you dare to disagree
For the perfect murder, that is